UK film release dates: Find out when the all the latest movies are coming to cinemas. Here's your guide to all the UK movie releases coming up. Not all horror movies are scary - check out 11 that are so ridiculous your stomach will hurt from laughing. Movies that are coming soon to theaters, sorted by release date. Top Romance Movies List. The Best Romance movies of all time are compiled by Romance movie ratings and member movie lists. The Best Romance movies are updated daily.

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Jesus Christ. How do you get to that from "Hartford" and "hope"? Sure, Hartford is rough, but it's not "put a bullet in your son to spare him the horror" rough.

We already have more awesome games than we can possibly play, so why not add a bunch more? Here’s all the big games coming out this summer.

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March 2. 01. 7 - www. Welcome to illegal pirate radio oi oi! I'ma just jump straight into the weekend because it was big and the only thing worth talking about from the past week.. Saturday was a very full day.

Much to do, much to accomplish and all that. Firstly, the GF was away on a girl's weekend.

Secondly I had agreed with a seller to collect an Ikea wardrobe from their house at 1. Would've been a far, far shorter drive to actual Ikea but at three times the price.

To make this happen I had to farm out the child but even before that had to squeeze in a GP visit, vote in the state election and coerce the trailer out of our nextdoor neighbour. GP was thrift except for the actual getting out of the house. Why there is a sudden urge to 'play with my toys' and associated dummy spit whenever it isn't allowed I'll never understand.

It was straight home afterward and off to cast my vote. Got there about 1. Next was the trailer. We have one of these fucking things except its old, probably not roadworthy and challenging to get at.

That sounds vague - basically next time I use it, it may not be allowed back to where it currently lives so if there's an easier option, take it. Decided to ask our neighbour. Had to approach the right way because as many times as I've seen that little trailer towed away behind someone else's car is how many times he has complained about them. Rarely complains about anyone unless that trailer is involved. All justifiable - stuff like how it comes back broken/dirty/scratched/whatever.

Actual heartbreak when it comes back scathed. I went armed with chocolates and compliments. Social engineering on a neighbourly level. Anyway.. Found the house easy enough, spent a while chatting and then carefully loaded up. It was obvious we needed a bigger trailer but still managed to make everything fit.

Headed back the long way avoiding freeways and anything which would rattle the wardrobe to destruction. We stopped about 1.

Would never ever have realised or found it otherwise. No idea how I'd have explained it either. The round trip absorbed almost four hours but was worth the effort.

Rest of the afternoon was spent cleaning the wardrobe, getting it ready to install and mowing lawn, gardening, voting etc. Come evening I was fucking exhausted but with the GF and kid out I could do anything. That meant alcohol in some or all forms. Organised a mate, got my shit together and met at a pub near the city. Had a beer, caught up and after establishing that food was essential in light of barely having eaten all day and tiredness, we went off to do that.

Of course as we walked out and I checked my phone for messages is when I totally didn't notice how the floor stepped down. So my body went down to take a closer look. In front of hundreds of people.

Remember last week I blogged about having a fucked neck? Well after some chiro and lifting cupboards all day it was surprisingly coming good. Well the stack fixed that. It was properly banged up. As was my knee. Oh and my wrist. A man only has one choice to make at that point: go home or drink through it. The choice was obvious..

I woke up Sunday morning wondering WTF had happened and feeling pretty average. And by average I mean . Couldn't move. Lay in bed for a couple of hours. Finally mustered the willpower to go shower which triggered an involuntary reappearance of Saturday night's dinner and drinks.

Got cleaned up, somehow drove to the massage place where a tiny Chinese woman put some of my shit back together. Ate junk food, watched TV and remained productively defunct for the duration. Normally I'd say 'never again' after such a night but it was a seriously good fun and its rare to escape the asylum and get one. Guess we'll see how things go for the coming weekend. Okay enough. I you've made it this far then trust me it only gets gouda.

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Yeah They Aint Getting Up. Bruce comes home one day and says to his lover . It feels like something's stuck up my ass. Download Man From Uncle (2015) Movie Hq there. Could you check it out for me?

Bruce says . Try lubing up your whole hand and checking it out. So his roommate lubes his whole hand and sticks it up Bruce's ass.

He feels around, and then pulls out a Rolex watch. There was a watch stuck up your ass. Bruce starts singing . He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face.

Didn't I satisfy you when we screwed? One got a D+, the second a D- and the third an F. We'll grab her.. The man behind the counter tells her it will cost $5 per word. She thinks for a moment and says . The man then informs her there is a five word minimum. Fred's dead. Buick for sale.

HERE'S WHY YOU'LL CAREWHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? Well, you first gotta understand that this chicken had a hard childhood. His father left when he had yet to hatch.

His mother looked after him for a few years, but she was a druggie and didn't do that great a job. Eventually she sold him into slavery in exchange for a hit. For a few years he worked as a slave labourer on a farm just north of the border.

The man who owned the farm was about as cruel and sadistic as they get, but to all outward appearances he was the model of virtue and a pillar of the community, so nobody suspected that he had seventy slave chickens working for him. Eventually this chicken snapped and murdered the farm owner by pecking open his jugular vein.

He left the farm. Shortly after the owner's family found out who killed him and put up a one million dollar bounty, payable to whoever found, tortured and killed the chicken. Fearing for his life, the chicken headed up north. He fell in with the chicken mafia, and worked as a hitchicken and general muscle for a few years. He slowly earned enough money to rent a house and get established, although he had to keep his head down to avoid getting noticed. He met a nice hen, and they started dating.

Now, the chicken was getting tired of killing other chickens for a living. He'd been attending night school part time, and had been told by his teachers that he was real smart. They wanted to give him a scholarship to go to college overseas, even. That never worked out, however. The chicken's girlfriend got pregnant, and he decided to stay in the country to care for the resulting chicks. He tried to quit the mafia. His bosses were not very pleased about his decision, and told him it would be a shame if anything bad happened to his family.

The chicken bought a strong lock for his apartment, although he still constantly worried about his family. The chicken got a job in an office. It was mind- numbingly boring, but it paid the bills and didn't involve killing anyone. Two years later the chicken got two strokes of bad luck.

Secondly, he had developed severe respiratory problems; the doctor said it had something to do with exposure to agricultural chemicals from his days as a slave. When he went home to tell his wife the bad news, he found she wasn't there. She had taken the children and left to be with another chicken. Well, the chicken went out and got good and drunk that night.